Nothing interesting has happened to me since the last time. I just have little funny moments through out the week.
Piss, cookies, and farts; these are the only things that have been interesting since the last post.
One night i was sitting at the table, just watching movies or stand up comedy specials. My housemate comes down stairs and goes out to the front door. I just thought he was going out for a smoke. I hear the sprinklers go off and he comes back into the house laughing and tells me, “CALVIN I was taking a piss outside and the sprinklers went off on me HAHAHA.” I was kinda weirded out, but at the same time was laughing my ass off. Okay, my housemate is a white male, he was drunk, how i know he was drunk? He was fucking bright red and and laughing that he pissed on the front yard and the lawn started pissing on him.
Two nights ago, I heard someone outside and they started pissing. I thought it was just some random drunk pissing in my front yard. I try to look out the window but it was too dark. I turn on the lights and try to look out the peep hole and still couldn’t see. I ended opening the door to see who it was. It was my housemate and he says, “WTF, I was pissing out here.” I ask him, “Why the fuck are you are you pissing in the front yard?” He tells me, “Because our piss is rich in nitrogen and plants need a lot nitrogen.” I just shrugged him off and went to bed. The next day I go to class and I look at the plants in the yard and wonder what is he pissing on. We have a tree, some thing in a wooden bucket that is kind of dried up, and nothing else. I really wonder what plant is so important that he needs to piss outside to help grow or he needs a reason to not come inside to take a piss.
My white housemate lives in the other room, so i can’t hear him sleep talk at night. My other housemate tells me one night he was sleep talking all night. When the white guy woke up he was in mid sentence of his sleep talking. He woke up saying COOKIES CALVIN. Apparently I was wear a pair of red oven mitts and holding a platter of cookies. The white guy continues to tell me he knew it was a dream, because it would be impossible for me to be holding a platter of cookies for him. I laughed my ass off.
You know how guys just fart and laugh about it. When one of my housemates or I fart, we have an awkward silence, look at each other, then we say good morning/afternoon/night, and proceed onto what we were doing. *Boop GOOD NIGHT